Sometime I feel like I don’t have a partner

Poor 90s bands and a heartbroken self aside, I thought it would be nice to drop a quick hello.

I’ve been going through a lot lately, or at least more than anticipated. I’ve emotionally been at the bottom, and I’m slowly climbing out, though there are walls I’m hitting occasionally. Furthermore, I started loving sunset swims, it still takes a bit of courage to go to the beach after a short unproductive day at work - but for example today just felt wonderful. The beach wasn’t busy, it wasn’t too hot or windy, the water was not too cold and there were practically no waves. I swam a bit out, experimenting with different swimming methods. Later I’ve started diving, though without glasses, after sunset, it gets quite scary underwater quickly. I ended up just slowly swimming back and then just floating on my back for the last few minutes. Even though the sky was clear, because of the twilight I noticed some very fast moving thin clouds.

I hope I’ll continue slowly waking up from torpor and becoming an integrated part of society again. I miss being close, but I’ve unlearned that anyway. The idea of 3D printing really sparks joy, I’m just not into CAD modelling and the tools I can chose on Linux are all quite unsatisfying - especially because I really want to use a non-programmatic CAD tool.

XOXO, ✨

• Syd Lightyear